Oh, just my crazy obsession with Reality TV.
And not just network shows...cable shows too
And I don't even have cable.
I do, however, have my ways.
And I gluttonously delight in Housewives, women trying to marry, dumb 20sthgs living the life of celebrity, Persians in Hollywood, fat people becoming thin, therapists helping out Courtney Stodden, etc.
Besides a fabulous break from my own life and perhaps also slightly maintaining a moral high-ground while watching, I actually have learned a lot from the shows.
The main lesson is this: no matter what anyone has done to you or how it affected you, you have ONE season (more like half a season) to work that sh*t out.
After that, the viewers expect you to move on and either pretend it didn't happen or pretend it doesn't affect you.
Sure it could give you cancer to bury it deep in your psyche, BUT it also could release you from the burden of being a victim. It's all in how you look at it,
This blog has been an amazing outpouring of my life. It has been a place where I cultivated my writing style and figured out how to be single in LA.
I shared my low moments as well as amazing times.
When I started writing it, I was really unhappy, but living a fairly awesome life.
I just didn't know it.
In the past few years, I have learned to embrace my own failings and I have changed the way I saw people and myself in certain situations.
Therapy helped. Though I didn't much care for my therapist, she got me to the point of being honest with myself.
Then, I met PB. We just celebrated 3 years together.
I know in this voyeueristic time of social media, we tend to focus on others' realities and lives as being superior to our own.
I have been guilty. I have also had people tell me that they judge their own lives based on what they see in my profiles.
My life is far from perfect. But it is pretty damn great. Money strains and unemployment have been PB's and my biggest hurdles, which in the grand scheme is pretty good.
Lots of laughter and respect for each other. And mostly, the freedom I have to be myself (even if myself is sometimes an a**hole) has given me a new level of confidence to take on any past
insecurities which may still be lingering. PB allows me that place. And I allow that for him, though he rarely exercises it to the point I do.
I have also learned how to move on from bad situations.
It took me longer than a tv season but I am releasing myself from old scenarios.
If you hold on to what people have done to you, then not only are you boring your viewers, you allow yourself to be a victim.
It's not always easy. Sometimes I still engage in a battle I have already won just because of the muscle memory and knee jerk reaction to the bait.
In general though, my recovery time, is faster than it used to be. I can smooth out the hair, bandage the scrapes and mend any rips in a way where I still feel victorious.
I have also become much more grateful for the bounty in my life.
Last weekend was supposed to be chill. We had no plans. I even took a nap! I KNOW!
But as it usually happens when you're friends with Mads or Jazzy, magic happened.
Mads came into some tix to the Vampire Weekend concert at the Hollywood Bowl. It was awesome! We even were able on the fly, to grab yummy food (Joe's Falafel) and bus it over there. Cup of wine in hand, perfect temperature, Beirut opened and I thought, this, right now, is perfect. Jazzy was there too on a date (shhhh don't tell her I said that).
Hollywood on a Saturday night after the Bowl and during the San Gennaro festival delayed our bus home by an hour but with good company you don't mind. Especially in hindsight and the bus came.
The next day, same magical people (Madsy and Jazzy) and family treated us to the Dodgers Game. Dodger Dog in hand, my other hand hooked onto PB's arm and I thought, this, right now is perfect. Except the Dodgers lost. But they are headed to the play-offs so it's okay.
And with all these perfect moments, even the imperfect ones, I thought, I want to keep sharing these moments with you.
But I want to start fresh. I want to show you my love letter to LA and to my friends and to PB with my new eyes.
So I will be ending this blog: Mermaid Jones is going underground. But rest assured, I will be starting a new one.
Thank you for being with me all these years. It's been quite an adventure, perfectly suited for a mermaid. But I have evolved and grown a pair...of legs that is.
I am walking here!